Friday, March 26, 2010

Be Somebody Way Cool – Call for Guest-Posters

So here’s a question for you: If you could be anything, anything at all, what would you be? An astronaut? President? Professional Athlete? Pop Music Star? Nobel Laureate?

That’s nice. But let me set you straight: you are never ever going to be any of those things. Because the people who are going to be those things are busy training or studying or practicing or glad-handing or whatever; they’re not killing time reading some weird tangent-strewn blog about plants and bikes.

AFO 2 10 But here’s something wonderful you can be: Me* for a day. Or more specifically, A Watching the World Wake Up Guest-Poster.

*pic right = actual photo of me, from my new employer’s company directory. My new employer has an online directory with photos of everyone. I’m not sure why they do this. What if I look up someone’s phone number, and they’re so scary-looking or something that I change my mind and don’t call them? Another odd thing: most employees have photos like mine- they were told to sit down and have their photo taken by a company photographer. But some people have photos that were clearly taken outside of work, like in a park, or on the beach or what-not. I swear, a few look like the person was out knocking back a few cocktails at the time. Anyway, I’m thinking of resubmitting another photo, probably this one.

But none of that is why I posted the photo. I posted it because it’s another great photo of my awesome beard, albeit in a professional context. I really like this photo. I feel that it says: I am a trustworthy all-round good guy from whom you should purchase IT research services.

The week of April 4 I’ll be on vacation in some Spanish-speaking locale without online access. Now last year when we vacationed in Costa Rica, I set up a series of auto-posts- namely the Fantastically Exciting and Amazing Blue Piñon series- to edutain you while I was away. But this year, as regular readers know, I’m phenomenally busy at work, and have absolutely zero bandwidth to produce absentee-posts. So, I have 2* options:

1) Let the blog go dark for a week, probably longer (because I have to travel for work as soon as I return from vacation.)

2) Someone (preferably more than one) guest-posts.

*I guess a 3rd option is I could just fill the days with helmet-cam filler. Which reminds me, I have an awesome idea for a new reality TV show: I wear my helmet-cam all the time.

To be a guest-poster, you just have to write a post. The requirements are:

1) The overall theme is somehow related to the natural world. But since you can tangent* at any time, you can really go off on pretty much anything you want.

*Which is, of course the most fun part of this whole project. Well, that and doing the Awesome Graphics.

2) I have to not be embarrassed to imagine my mother reading it. (Because she will*.)

*She reads this blog diligently, ever since another family member- let’s call her “my sister Elizabeth”- clued her into its existence. She sends me long comments by email, correcting my Greek grammar and things like that. One time when I posted something about my first wife and then showed it crossed out, she emailed me in a panic and said, “You know readers can still see what you said about [FIRST WIFE’S NAME]??”

3) You have to send me the post by end of day Saturday April 3*, so that I can format and set it up for auto-post.

*And you cannot flake. If you say you’re doing it, you need to follow through. I have this thing about people flaking…

Posts don’t need to have pics or graphics*, but if you’d like to include some, that’s great. Tangential ruminations, half-baked theories, observations and/or anecdotes are of course welcome and encouraged. Don’t worry about the formatting; I’ll take care of it.

*And if you get me your post early enough, and it inspires me and I’m feeling especially helpful, I just might whip up an Awesome Graphic for you.

OK that’s it. Be me for a day. It’s way cool. If you’d like to guest-post, email me at either my real address (which a number of readers already have) or at (removing the caps) and give me some idea of the topic.

Not interested in guest-posting? OK, well thanks for reading, and here’s a nice clip from riding frozen singletrack yesterday at dawn above downtown SLC.

Man, I love the helmet-cam. I video my rides every morning and then watch them at work while I’m stuck on conference calls. Isn’t that cool? It’s like 2 rides every day. I am telling you- way cool to be me.


Phil O. said...

What, no responses yet?? People must be intimidated by the high standards the Watcher has set for posts this past year+. But having known the Watcher since the Nixon administration, I feel no comparable fear. I would like to throw my name into the ring as a contender, with a semi-firm promise of interesting-but-not-make-my-Mom-squirm-worthy tangents.

Watcher said...

Phil- you are on! I know you will be a formidable guest-poster; I look forward to your post on the Nixon administration.

Anyone else? Don't be shy...

Kristin said...

I'm not submitting a guest post (try not to be too disappointed) but I did want to say that the Human Candy Cane caught me off guard and I nearly shot water through my nose and all over my laptop. That is a company directory photo FOR SURE.

Unknown said...
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Anonymous said...

Oh my! Thanks for my biggest laugh of the week. Best tangent ever.


the vexed muddler said...
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maggie said...

If you ever need a guest post when it's not the middle of finals, I'd love to take a stab at it.

Also, I would TOTALLY watch a 24hr helmet cam show.

Ski Bike Junkie said...

I'd like to do a guest post. I'm thinking maybe something about yeast. Or that trout post I've been mulling for years. Or maybe something on metaphysics. Regardless, it will be totally unlike my blog in that it will include actual research.

Watcher said...

SBJ- you are on! Either topic would excellent (though I am partial to the yeast idea, and have it on my need-to-blog-about list, so you would be doing me a double favor. Then again, the story and modern-day distribution of trout in the former Lake Bonneville basin is also a great topic.)

OK I think we have 3 guest-posters plus 1 maybe. Only 7 days in a week, so speak up quick if you want in!

Enel said...

I also hate flakey people, so I will whole heartedly not commit. I have a rad topic in mind. Just need to buckle down for the re-edumacation on the topic. It is seriously cool. A. If you receive it by the end of next week, you will know what to do.

Rambling Woods said...

I did love your alternative photo... I can't guest post, but I wanted to wish you a very good trip and remember how glad I am that my Mother doesn't read my blog..... Michelle