Monday, October 19, 2009

Why I’m Not Posting Today

I always like to post on Monday, but I’m a little pre-occupied this morning. My brother- let’s call him “Phil”- is texting me regular updates of his wife’s (let’s call here “Dara”) labor. Right now Dara’s doing great, but the woman next door is screaming her head off.

This reminds me: I generally assume that women are saner and more level-headed than men. Think about it- men are always writing manifestos and sending mail-bombs and shooting up post-offices and becoming evil dictators and pretending their kids have blown away in balloons so they can get on reality shows and such. Really, by any objective standard, men are totally nuts. If we had any brains at all as a society, we would bar all men from political office or corporate management.

Quickie Tangent: Last week when that whole balloon thing was going down, everyone was like, “Oh what terrible parents- how could they not have kept an eye on him…” but secretly I was (just a bit) sympathetic, because I could totally see Twin A doing something like that. (Hell for all I know the kid’s piloting a Cessna over the valley right now…)

But that assumption gets blown to hell every time I hear of a woman choosing “natural” childbirth. Really? The 9 months of inconvenience, discomfort and compromised mobility weren’t enough for you? You needed more of a challenge? Yikes- women are crazy-tough!

I’ll be back at it tomorrow, when I explain all about Indian Summer.


Rachel said...

I seriously thought this "not post" was one of your best when I read paragraph 2. But you killed it with paragraph 4.

Ski Bike Junkie said...

Rachel has had three children without medication. Just thought I'd point that out.

Men are nuts all the time, so it becomes somewhat normal and predictable. Women are nuts 1/4 of the time + whenever they're pregnant so they're erratic and unpredictable. Pick your poison.

KanyonKris said...

I must disagree with SBJ (and distance myself from his statement). Women are always rational, deliberate and steady. And I'm not just saying that because I don't like sleeping on the couch.

Watcher said...

Sorry Rachel. I should have said, "Yikes- women are crazy-tough! With the notable exception of natural-birther-moms who read this blog. They are wonderfully wise and naturalistic and all-round fantabulous."